A Guide To Unlearning

6 useful concepts to use as a compass upon a ground-shattering awakening.

(artist unknown)

1. Radical Self-Responsibility. Keeping ourselves in inaction due to guilt or shame is the biggest disservice to this movement. It starts with ownership over ourselves. What am I experiencing? What do we need to learn? How do I keep myself accountable? How might I become more resourceful? More educated? We cannot expect anyone else to do it for us.
2. Lean Into Discomfort. Invite it in and get curious. What is discomfort trying to teach us? What is the feeling underneath the judgement? Identify it and allow yourself to feel it all the way through. Remember that we are not our emotions. However, the more we are willing to accept them for what they are, the more present we can be with what is and take authentic action. Discomfort is the edge of growth.
3. Drop The Need To Be “Good” or “Right”. This is social conditioning that we all carry around, and it limits our ability to show up authentically. If we are always concerned with being perceived a certain way, we inevitably fall into performative action. We block ourselves from knowing the world and being known. If we hide behind political correctness or the fear of offending, we cannot build bridges. Connection requires the vulnerability of revealing ourselves. There will be backlash. We will be misunderstood. We must be willing to not take it personally.
4. Embrace Imperfection. Be willing to show up and screw up, and then to do it all over again. Perfection keeps us paralyzed. Have the humility to commit yourself to a lifetime of unlearning and relearning. Dare to not know. Imperfection is one thing that we all have in common. Allow it to be the path to authentic connection.
5. Tune Out To Tune In. Allowing our emotions and what we think we should do to bounce around with each new hashtag keeps us hooked in the drama. There is so much going on, so many different opinions, and fingers being pointed that even within the “same side” it is difficult to figure out what we should or shouldn’t do. Never act from a place of “should”. By all means, support what calls you, but take time away from the screen to tune into what is real and true for YOU. Everyone has a role to play in this movement, and it will not be the same. The more you tune in to yourself, the more you’ll be able to show up authentically and amplify what needs to be amplified.
6. Listen. Really listen. Take off the lens of defensiveness and be willing to fully take in someone else’s story. We need to allow ourselves to forget ourselves for a while. To become immersed in their world. To see them, and to see their humanity reflected in our own. We might realize how much they have to teach us about ourselves.
7. Use Your Power To Support + Amplify. Privilege is power and right now, many of us feel victimized by it. Making ourselves small, staying silent, or being unsure of our every move is not conducive to being an ally. The first step is to acknowledge our power, understand that we always had it, and learn to use it responsibly. Use it to amplify voices that need to be heard. Use it to create art, organizations, businesses, and beyond that are inclusive and supportive of targeted communities. Use your money to fuel the movement. Use your voice to stand up for the cause. Use your vote to change the rules of the game.